The Drink Tax
by Terry Griffith

I sat down one evening to figure income tax.
I read the regulations and wrote down all the facts.
Before too long my pencil was just a little nub.
My head was aching badly so I went down to the pub.

I called for a pint of Guinness and it had a lovely head.
As the barman set it on the bar he looked at me and said.
I know it was six dollars the last time you were out
But now it's six and sixty for a pint of Guinness stout.

I asked him what the deal was and why the price was high.
Was the Publican so greedy he has to wring us dry?
He said County Alleghany has decided to tax the drink
To bail out public transit which was teetering on the brink.

I thought about the logic of taxing folks who drink.
It seems to me the reasoning is a little out of sync.
The only time I take the bus I'm tryin' to stay alive.
Home is just too far to walk and I'm too drunk to drive.

There's a sin tax and a luxury tax and a tax on what we earn.
And a tax on entertainment but what really makes me burn.
Is taxing people in the pub who like a drink or two.
I guess Dan Onorato is not like me and you.

He says it's not an issue that matters much to him.
He'd rather bow to pressure than to go out on a limb.
Other areas tax the drink and they're in the very same boat.
We'll see how much it matters when we all go out and vote.

If you think that it's an unfair tax and don't know who to tell
Remember the Whiskey Rebellion started here as well.
So think about the tax you pay on every single beer
And then you tell ol' Danny Boy that he's not welcome here.

Did Onorato honor auto rental tax to boot?
I'm surprised that Enterprise hasn't brought a legal suit.
If Port Authority wants to last and forever stay alive
I guess they'll just encourage us to rent and drink and drive.